chapter [eight]: God and my ipod

i listen to my ipod every morning on the way to work. i really don't like to listen the radio in the morning because it's just people talking with the occasional song, and that just puts me to sleep. Since i'm behind the wheel, this is obviously not a good thing. Back around March i started listening to my playlist entitled "praise-ish" which consists mostly of praise songs and hymns with the occasional dctalk thrown in the mix. It's a great time to spend with the LORD before the craziness of my day gets started.

Thursday (maybe?) morning, as i was driving down my street, digging in my purse for Felipe* i realized he wasn't in there. i didn't want to turn around so i was forced to make my morning commute sans ipod. i was also forced to listen to morning radio. Now, i'm sure the people that work at K-Love and KSBJ in the morning are wonderful, God-loving, Christ-centered people, but they just aren't for me. At least not that early in the morning. But there i was, flipping between the two trying to find the one i disliked the least. KSBJ was playing a decent song so i parked there until the song was over. When it finished and the morning DJs started talking i started to change the channel, but my hand froze in midair when one of them said, "Has God ever answered one of your prayers, but it wasn't the answer you wanted, and how did everything work out in the end?" "hmmm...this sounds interesting...," i thought, so i began to listen.

The DJs and countless callers began to tell stories of how they had prayed for things and God had said "no" or "just wait" to their requests. At the time they didn't understand why He'd said no or wait, but now looking back they all saw how what God had planned for them was soooo much better than what they were asking Him for and how everyone should just trust God because His plan is perfect.

Now, i may be the only one out of my 3 lovely readers that struggles with this, but it's soooo much easier for me to say i trust God than it is for me to actually trust Him. What's even worse, half the time i don't even realize i'm not trusting Him!!!

Being a pre-k teacher, planning is an essential part of my job. i have every minute of my time with students planned out. i have a plan if it's raining. i have a plan if i finish my day early and i have some time to kill. i have a plan if my day is running behind and i have to eliminate some things. When they leave, i plan for the next day, the next week, etc. Plans. Plans. Plans.

i'm also a planner in my personal life. There have been times in my life when i knew what i was doing every weekend for 2 months at a time. i occasionally like to be spontaneous, but sadly i plan the days i will allow myself to be spontaneous.

Then, there are my long range plans. Where i see my life in the next year, the next five years, etc. Except that, every year i have these plans, and the majority of them don't happen. Then, a bunch of things i didn't plan for start popping up, totally throwing my neatly planned world into chaos.

hmmm... i wonder why things are going the way i planned them??

oh wait, i know! Because I am making these plans alone and not asking God for His input. Not only am I not asking Him for His input, much less His will, I basically make these plans and then I say, "OK, LORD, this is what I want. Please and thank you!" Sometimes I can be such an idiot!

God showed me that morning that His plans are better than mine and i need to stop being such a planner and start trusting Him with the plans of my life. He also showed me that He is control of situations and things i've been praying for and dealing with and that i just need to let Him deal with it.

Sometimes i teach my students something and they learn it and know it all is well with the world. Then 2 months later i ask them about it and they give me the most blank look and so i have to go back and re-teach it again. This is def. a "re-teach" for me and i'm sure the LORD will have to re-teach it to me yet again. However, i pray it's a lesson i'm taught less and less as i trust in Him more and more.

...I guess the occasional morning radio isn't so bad after all...

*Yes, I named my ipod Felipe. "Tiffany's ipod" is a lame name and extremely uncreative. I named my 1st ipod Marco, may he rest in peace.